Saturday, March 30, 2013

an apology to bullies

The other day I experienced some pretty intense bullying on my instagram page after I posted this picture of my new cell phone case to remind myself daily that "hope is real, help is real and your story is important". That everyone has a story, some are just not ready to share it yet including myself.




At first I was shocked at why this person would call me names and against my better judgement I
re-posted the comment on my feed with out blocking out their name and announced I was taking a break. Looking back that probably added fuel to the flame especially after over 100 people commented on that picture. Most were sweet comments, not even directed at this person but were people trying to encourage my heart in spite of what this person wrote to me. But those sweet comments were overshadowed by a handful of evil ones.


I was very upset. The words from a complete stranger telling me to kill myself and saying that he or she is going to send my husband and son a sympathy card because they already have my address made me sick. I had to take a break from twitter, instagram and completely shut down my blog.  My entire mind and body was horrified that this happened, the words that were written by these people are evil and unkind. I couldn't even fathom why someone would say this to another human being, it is unacceptable. Then after a day of really praying about the situation I started to feel this mixture of sickness and sympathy for this bully, for all bullies. I felt sick for what they are doing and how they are trying to literally injure others with words. But I also felt sympathy because I know that this bully and all bullies are hurting somewhere deep inside and that hurt is making them hurt others.

To the bullies that did this to me. My heart breaks for you, it is unacceptable what you wrote to me but I now see that your probably not used to unconditional love or encouragement. That when you see other people trying to encourage others it probably sets off a trigger in your heart that makes you feel unwanted and that feeling makes you want to lash out on other people. I am sorry that I did something that set off that trigger inside of you, it was unintentional and I truly wished you had emailed me if I offended you. My hope is that you are able to one day accept love and encouragement and see that not everyone is that person that hurt you so long ago that makes you act the way that sometimes do. I hope you can see that people really do want to be your friend, want to love on you and want to see you grow in healthy relationships.

One of the bullies mentioned that this attack happened because I am a Christian. My faith in Jesus Christ is part of who I am and that comes out in my encouragement. I am heavily reminded this Easter weekend that Christ gave his life for us out of unconditional love. When I think of everything that happened last Sunday I know that Christ would want me to forgive you and to love you in spite of what you did to me and my family. I do forgive you and I hope and pray that you will not do this to another person ever again.

I have covered up the names of the people who wrote the comments I did so because I want to end this cycle. I have forgiven and I want to move on. I hope and pray that we are all able to truly start encouraging the hearts of others unconditionally and not seek out something in return for it. We have no idea what people have gone through and how badly their heart may need words of hope, but looking for something in return always makes the encouragement feel like strings are attached. That's not unconditional.

I believe with every fiber inside of me that part of the reason why I am here on this earth is to encourage people. When I hear of people who feel discouraged my heart breaks and I feel the need to do something to encourage that person or find someone else to encourage them if I am unable to. I like to connect people to encourage one another, it brings me great joy to do so and that is why I am going to continue my encouragement journey on my blog, twitter and instagram. Also please do not mistake my encouragement or kindness for weakness because I am a pretty strong woman who has gone through a lot in her lifetime and I will not tolerate anyone who hurts or tries to injure my family.

I have taken off the comments on this post, if you have any questions feel free to email me directly
jessica.a.west (at) gmail.com.

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