Monday, February 25, 2013

what am I sacrificing

Saturday we went to the National Air and Space Museum (Udvar-Hazy Center) in Dulles. When we arrived I actually ran Judah inside almost skipping security because I was so excited. Once inside I was fighting back tears. If you know me and have been reading my blog for awhile you know I cry over just about anything, but this museum holds an extra special place in my heart. The last time I visited the Air and Space Museum was when it was in high school. My mom took my sister and I on our spring break to the one located in DC. This was a good memory for me, the museum meant allot to my mother because her father was an engineer for NASA. Also this was a time when my mom was healthy, when she was our "mom" and before all her electroshock therapy treatments, this was before her father passed away. Now years later I wanted to make the same special memories with my husband and son. Judah was chatting away in excitement as Scott explained each airplane to us. Then I turned to my husband and said "I am so sorry but we have to see the space shuttle now, I can't wait any longer". So we beelined over to the shuttle and spent an hour just looking at her. This was the shuttle that we saw being flown into Northern Virginia last year


I have no words to describe what it felt like seeing a real life space shuttle up close. 
At first I felt like I was trying to capture my experience by taking the best picture of the shuttle with Scott and Judah. But Judah was so distracted by what was going on and wouldn't stand longer than a second. All my pictures of him were blurry. Then it hit me, am I sacrificing my experience with my family by trying to capture it on my phone. So I stopped worrying about how many great pictures I could capture on my phone and decided that I didn't care if I was going to use the same pictures on my blog that I shared on Instagram. Instead I enjoyed my time at the museum with my family.


After spending the morning at the Air and Space museum I started to really think. What am I sacrificing during the day. I try to stay up with my friends on twitter, IG and blogs. But I can't spend all day on social media. I have a system that works pretty good for me, I upload a picture but don't comment back until Judah is napping or when Scott is with him. I package orders at night, crochet and read blogs during his nap time or when Scott is spending some daddy and Judah time with him. I don't feel like I am the best person at keeping up with social media but right now this is the season I am in. The season of pouring out into my sons growing mind and heart while trying to make time to encourage and invest into the friendships that I've built. 
I'm trying to take the time to teach Judah how to draw, encouraging him to love to paint, taking him to parks, reading books or teaching him how to encourage others by showing him how to mix the muffin batter or draw on cards. So if I am not quick to respond to a tweet, email or even comment back really fast or you notice I comment on IG posts at the end of the day that means I was probably spending time with Judah. If I double post pictures onto my blog that I took on IG that probably means I was more focused on grabbing my phone so I could also hold Judah or that we got to caught up in the moment of having fun as a family that I didn't think to bring my Canon. I don't want to reflect on my sons childhood and think "that was a really good twitter conversation" or "I really enjoyed spending my day following other people living life on IG instead of spending time with my son". I want to be that person living my life and spending my time investing into my sons life.

Its a fine balance that I find myself daily struggling with. Especially because I do love the friendships I've built on social media, its a great outlet for a stay at home mom. But I have to force myself to think "what am I sacrificing" and how can I pour out into Judah's life more. 


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5 comments:

  1. Hi Jess, I'm Whitney and I found you via Vanessa from Silly Eagle! This is just such a lovely and true post. Thank you for sharing!

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  2. I completely understand. It's difficult to find the perfect balance. I've been staying away from all forms of social media from Friday-Monday. I reserve that time for my family, and my family only!

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  3. it is so hard to balance the stay at home life with a little work and the stay at home working creative life.i find myself struggling to do the same. your heart is clearly in the right place and your intentions are true!

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  4. I just have to say I understand the awe of NASA. I live in Brevard County, Fl and have been exceptionally blessed to watch shuttles and rockets take flight. I too cried when Discovery took flight, but more out of sadness, I am so glad to see others love her the way so many of us here have.

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  5. I just have to say I understand the awe of NASA. I live in Brevard County, Fl and have been exceptionally blessed to watch shuttles and rockets take flight. I too cried when Discovery took flight, but more out of sadness, I am so glad to see others love her the way so many of us here have.

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Thank you for your comments! They encourage my heart and I read every single one of them. Please be encouraging and don't just comment or email me when you want to correct me on my grammar. When I get the "grammar correction" emails or comments they do hurt my feelings. I wouldn't want your heart to feel the way mine does after reading them.

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