Thursday, December 6, 2012

being beautiful

When Judah was first born I use to ask my husband over a dozen times a day "Do you think he is cute, be honest with me" at first I thought it was first time mom hormones and being alone in the area with no one really to talk to but my husband. I started to notice when we would take Judah out in public people started saying Judah is my twin. I would ask Scott "do you really think Judah looks like me?" and he would say "Jess he is your twin". I then realized something more was being done to my heart.

 I grew up thinking I was ugly, being told by my abusive father that I was ugly and worthless and yet I spend my days cuddling, holding and kissing the most beautiful boy in the world. My son....who looks just like me. 

After awhile I started to see things through different eyes. It was like the Lord used my son and how we look similar to discredit the things my father told me growing up. It helped me realize that my father was being hateful, abusive and was lying to me and my siblings. 

My heart has changed. Now when people tell me that Judah is my twin I take it as a compliment. My son is the most beautiful little guy. He loves life, loves showing people affection and cares about others. You can see this in his smile, the way he blows kisses at everyone and in the way his eyes sparkle. Judah's joyful spirit is just contagious. 

I always tell Scott, The Lord is showing me what my life would have been like as a child with out abusive parents by letting me be Judahs mom. We are able to see first hand what it looks like for a child to thrive in a loving environment. I am able to see Judah grow a healthy confidence of who he is and encourage the beauty I see inside and outside of him. 

Judah, he is my son, he is my twin and he is beautiful.

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  1. So true! Judah is a spitting image of you and you both are beautiful inside and out. I'm so blessed to have you both in my life :)

  2. Tears are both are beautiful inside and out! Loved reason your story :)

  3. He really does look just like you :) Beautiful post, beautiful words as always.

  4. Great blog from a Beautiful mom!

  5. thanks to Adventures of a Modern Mom I found your blog ... growing up as a former "ugly duckling" I loved this. loved your honesty and your lovely self portrait pic! now following from the sweet south!

  6. That's no George Washington baby! ;]]] He sure is adorable! And definitely your twin. I love the way our God redeems the broken and repairs the hurt. So beautiful and this story is so touching. It reminds me of that Gungor "beautiful things" (probably not the actual name. I may have made it up?) song.

    "You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us."

  7. i absolutely love this post beautiful mama. <3

  8. The Lord works things out in the end and you have already been blessed by your son. He has been blessed to have a mother who builds him up with love and doesn't tear him down with hate and abuse. Congrats on your cute little man.

  9. I told Alya yesterday after we got to see Judah that seeing him always makes my day :) He (and you friend) are so special and I'm so glad that he is helping you discover the beauty that we have always seen in you.

    love you bunches!

  10. I just came across this post and it brought tears to my eyes. I can tell what a beautiful person you are, inside and out.. and I don't even know you. Keep smiling and adoring that precious little boy!

  11. Thank you for sharing this incredible post. It honestly is one of the most touching things I've seen in such a long time. You are both so beautiful :)


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