Wednesday, October 3, 2012

friendship vulnerability



Its okay to be vulnerable and build a friendship.
Do you ever feel like you have to give yourself permission to be vulnerable with people, to start a new friendship and trust that this is the place the Lord wants you to be? I questioned that this morning as I entered the third week of my bible study. As people were going around the room talking and sharing I just felt the urge to run. My hand started to reach down to grab my purse and all I could think is I need to run fast and far away from this room. I kept thinking I worked in women's ministry for five years I don't like the dessert socials, daisies on brochures or the "women talk".  The reasons why I don't care for this is because I feel awkward. Although I want to relate with each woman in the room and my heart wants to hear each of their stories I feel like I'm out of place. It also doesn't help that I've been hurt by friendships in the past. Right at that moment when my hand gripped my purse straps I received a text from a good friend who said that she was praying for me today while she was at work. I released my hand from my purse, took a deep breath and told myself "Jess its okay, take this one day at a time".

Its okay to be be vulnerable with yourself.  Its okay to acknowledge that starting a new study with a new group of women is hard. Its okay to be scared and its okay to want to have friendships. Its also okay to sit back and take everything in, process it and speak only when your heart feels ready to share part of your story. Learning to trust and share is a process.

I think allot of us miss out on wonderful friendships because we are scared. We let the fear grip our hearts to the point where we are afraid to trust. Its hard to reach out and trust other bloggers, to open up and leave that comment when something that someone wrote stuck a cord in your heart. Its hard to meet up other bloggers or go to a conference thinking that your going to stick out like a sore thumb and no one will like you. Its hard to meet up with other women that you've never met before and join their weekly bible study. Its hard to relate to other moms since everyone has a different parenting style.

But if you take that leap of faith and attend that study, leave that comment, go to that conference or
meet up another blogger or mom, it may change your life. You may find yourself in the middle of the most beautiful and rewarding friendship.

Living a full life is all about the relationships you make and the friendships you invest in. Each week (when Judah or myself is not sick) I am committed to attending this study. It may feel uncomfortable at first but I am sure in the long run it will be good for my heart. I'm also committed to being vulnerable and sharing with my blogger community about what is on my heart and encouraging other bloggers when they share whats on theirs.

trusting...being vulnerable...building friendships

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12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. love you sweet friend, you and sam have been such a blessing to my heart and I am so happy we are IG/facebook/blogger mommy friends and one day IRL friends
      xoxo

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  2. I so agree Jess! I'm one of the most awkward people you can imagine, which is why I think I enjoy the blogger world so much. I like knowing that I'll probably never meet these people in real life. If I say something silly or stupid, it's ok. I'll never know what that person thought of me. So much easier, but totally antisocial. ;)

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  3. This is something I struggle with too! I have a very small group of gals that I can be myself around and I have the hardest time making new friends but its something God is definitely helping me with. I recently met a really neat gal that I hit it off really quickly with, which NEVER happens with me, but I decided to step out and its been such a blessing in my life! Good for you going and being committed to your study. I know God will bless that!

    Have a wonderful week!

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  4. Great post Jess - we do hold back as we get older and older. Too much is placed on the individual and not the community. So proud of you for joining that new bible study and sticking with it!

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  5. This is lovely. I struggle with this too. I'm so glad you're so honest on your blog.

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  6. Completely hear you on this, something that I have be wrestling with lately. Thank you for writing this.

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  7. Boy, this really spoke to my heart. Thank you!

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  8. I really loved reading this Jess. Thank you for sharing...I'm sure there are so many of us that can identify to your words. (including me!)

    I'm new to you blog...can't wait to follow along and read lots more!

    Hope you have a lovely day! xx

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  9. Love this post and completely agree, something every woman needs to hear! Thx momma, ps your blog is adorable!

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  10. Such a wonderful post. It is true that opening yourself up with new people can feel a bit scary. My husband is an ordained minister here in Sydney and so we move around quite a bit. Just this year we've moved to a new church and so it's back to building new relationships from scratch all over again! Sometimes it can feel very emotionally draining, but so totally worth it because it's through these relationships that we can love and care for each other. After all, our God is all about being relational!
    Ronnie xo

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  11. just getting around to reading your blog, new friend! you are such a sweet soul and you are not alone in this at all. i struggle with this daily on how much to open myself up and whether or not i should be a friend or just close up and let them move on because that's just better. i hate being vulnerable because i've been hurt, too. it's not good and so damaging to the spirit. but i think God's putting you in this bible study for a reason and just remember that you're not the only one struggling with how to act and how much to share. i bet no one there is as perfectly composed as they make themselves out to be!

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Thank you for your comments! They encourage my heart and I read every single one of them. Please be encouraging and don't just comment or email me when you want to correct me on my grammar. When I get the "grammar correction" emails or comments they do hurt my feelings. I wouldn't want your heart to feel the way mine does after reading them.

Please check back as I try to respond to everyone who leaves a comment.