Tuesday, September 11, 2012

rising with hope

Today while I was preparing homemade pizza for dinner I learned a very timely lesson in my spiritual life. I mixed together warm water, brown sugar and yeast and as I was measuring out the flour I realized realized I was a cup short. Putting the mixture aside I ran to Target to get more flour (diapers, hair wash, new shirt for Judah ect....) 45 minutes later when I combined everything I noticed the dough looked kinda funny. I thought maybe I am just overly tired and it will look fine after I let it rise. I put the lump of dough into a container, covered it with a dish towel and waited an hour. When I came back it looked like this....a heavy disagreeable loaf. 

I thought this was funny, because I am taking a huge step of faith tomorrow. For the first time since I left working in full time ministry two years ago I'm trusting the Lord and starting a women's daytime bible study. My heart over the past two years has been hurt and jaded by some believers and because I was working through some heavy stuff I took a break. During the first part of my break my heart was a heavy disagreeable lump, just like the dough in my bowl. I wouldn't let Scott pray for my meals, I rolled my eyes when people said they were praying for me, I was jaded because I was hurt by working in ministry and felt abandoned after giving my life to them for over five years. 
 I felt like my spiritual life was a heavy disagreeable lump in my heart.
 But over the past few months my heart started to really miss being closer to the Lords heart, it missed how I was head over heals in love and I missed writing poems like these (I have notebooks filled with them). I also missed encouraging other women from the overflow of encouragement I received from the Lord by being in scripture daily. 

Your call astounding
I had no choice
heart pounding
at the sound of your voice

darkness fade
into Your light
for this I was made
You've given me life
9/25/08 - Jessica West
1 Peter 2:9

Staring at my heavy disagreeable lump of dough, I thought, the yeast needs to be mixed in with the dough at the right time to transform. Just like I want Gods word to be leavened into my heart, for it to spread and transform so it will rise with hope.

tomorrow...my big step of faith towards my Lords heart. 

(If you get a chance please double click the box and vote for our blog)
Help Our Rank & Visit Top Baby Blogs, Baby Blog Directory!


  1. I am SOOOOOOO happy for you!! I've had seasons where i gave that same eye roll...it's TOUGH isn't it?

  2. Jess, that poem is amazing! I hope you start writing more.
    PS your son is the just the cutest :)

  3. This is a great post with such deep meaning. What an awesome God who will speak to us through the small daily details of our lives - even through bread. Really love this post.


Thank you for your comments! They encourage my heart and I read every single one of them. Please be encouraging and don't just comment or email me when you want to correct me on my grammar. When I get the "grammar correction" emails or comments they do hurt my feelings. I wouldn't want your heart to feel the way mine does after reading them.

Please check back as I try to respond to everyone who leaves a comment.