Friday, February 17, 2012

When things are a mess






Tonight we were supposed to have our first "real" game night at the house. I've been trying to clean the house, make sure it smells good and was going to bake some zucchini bread then realized I don't have enough time to do that because I wanted to take Judah outside. Instead I'll just throw some brownies in the oven after my mini play date with Judah. Having him spend as much time as possible outside in the fresh air while we have good weather is way more important than baking homemade zucchini bread for guests.

A boys skateboard and his shadow



Found someones basketball that was left behind and is showing off to some girls on the swings that he can pick it up.


Being extra cute. 


Taking the basketball over to the girls as a gift offering for their friendship.


Trying to get into peoples yards.


running



Judah had a mini meltdown during his walk so I took him inside for lunch, he started snotting up while he was eating his lunch and he was in obvious protest to the world around him. Nothing was making him happy so after I knew he had enough to eat I put him down. Start cleaning up lunch and I hear him getting into things. He found my hidden stash of yarn, a roll of paper towels, left over puffs and decided to have a mini "Judah tornado" thru my living room that I just cleaned. Normally I don't mind, just chalk it up to having a baby. But my cell phone is going off with texts from my husband telling me he is not sure when he can come home tonight. 



Then I just want to cancel. I know game night would be fun for us, but honestly what do you do when your home feels like its in a constant mess, my husband has been working so many hours he is exhausted when he comes home and you have to keep canceling things like finishing up your root canal and your sons 1 year check up because of all the hours your husband is working. 

I feel like I am doing something wrong, their must be some way moms are able to manage all of this. That they can get their home super clean, keep it clean, getting time away from their kids (I still haven't had a break....I'm starting to really feel it) and making sure their child doesn't have an afternoon of meltdowns and turning the house upside-down so they don't cancel all the time on friends. I feel like I am always canceling on someone and I know it would be nice to hang out with adults so I am not constantly talking to a child. 

What do you do? How do you manage to get time away, or go on appointments during the day (like the dentist) or keep your house clean. I know I am focusing allot on keeping the house clean, I feel like I can not think clearly when the house is so messy.

 

 
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6 comments:

  1. That's so tough girl... I have an 8 month old, and so I feel your pain. It's so hard!!! I have learned to let go... the beautiful thing about being in community with people is this: they understand. You are not defined by how clean the house is, or what you can do in a day. At the end of the day, loving Judah well is what matters. So I only invite over people who don't care if the house isn't perfect, or if I'm having alot of people over, I ask someone to come 20 minutes early to watch Addie while I do a quick clean-up. As for adult time, the gym (with childcare) has been a LIFESAVER for me. You should look into it. At first I thought we couldn't afford it, but now I am realizing that if it keeps us sane, it's worth the investment. Praying your day gets better :)

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    1. Thanks Sarah! Asking someone to come over to help clean for 20 mins is a great idea! I was with Golds gym (they have child care) but switched to a non childcare gym bc of the trauma /abuse from my childhood I don't really trust people I don't know to care for Judah before he can speak. Its something my counselor (she has a Ph.D ect) has encouraged me to do do. So right now at this age I don't trust Judah with someone at the gym. Maybe when he can speak in full sentences? But now that the weather is nicer we are going to try to go for daytime runs.....but we are still looking into ideas to give me a break sometimes during the day. We know a bunch of girls who are in Campus Crusades (in the college across the street) and my husband and I have discussed if I can hire one of the girls to come out during the day (since they have the time in between classes or days they don't have classes) to give me a break ;-)

      And believe me, Judah is not lacking in the love/cuddle department. He is the happiest boy around who is constantly laughing. I am just a visual person so the messiness drives me nuts a bit ;-)

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  2. honestly my home is almost never completely clean. And Margaux doesn't even walk yet. Also we almost never have people over because it's too stressful! I will say that eventually i feel really crazy from the mess and have J watch Margaux for a few hours while I clean everything. My new thing (as of yesterday) is to just pick up the little messes every night before I go to bed. That way at least the house is clean when I wake up.

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    1. Isn't it weird how stressful a babies mess can sometimes be, especially when you want people to come over. My friend who came over last night said I am a visual person so I feel stressed out when I see the mess. I do go around (when Scott takes Judah to bed which is huge for me bc I feel a bit saner) and pick up some things, but as soon as this little ball of energy wakes up its .10seconds and the living room is baby tornado land. Ah well, I hear its a phase :-)
      xo

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  3. I have just realized that this is the season that I am in and eventually it will pass. For the longest time I was so frustrated about not having family around or sitters, about my husband having to work long hours, about feeling like I was constantly cleaning. But I just realized that attitude is everything. This is my life right now and the season I'm in, so I can go through it miserably or go through it with a good attitude an make the best of every moment. At the very least just having a roof over our head, food in our bellies and healthy children is a blessing, alot of people don't even have that. If you guys are going to have more kiddos I hate to tell you this but it's gonna get harder (I have a 4 yr old, 16 mo old and 6 mo pregnant), I promise you will look back on this time and how easy it was with one!

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    1. Ha, I am not sure if I should thank you or not? :-)
      Im typically pretty good about it, but I think yesterday I hit my breaking point of being overwhelmed and was looking for some mama support since my family lives so far away. I already look back and miss the days when Judah is a baby and I am sure I will miss the days when he is a toddler. I can't even imagine him being in high school or in college. We ended up having game night at our home last night and it was great, our home was trashed by two little boys but it wasn't a bad thing, it was just the aftermath of two kids hanging out and playing :-)

      We are on the fence (well I am on the fence bc my husband wants 10+ kids) about having anymore children right now. Im not in a place where I feel that I want more but I am sure sometime in the future :-)

      Is it hard being pregnant and running after the other two? I always wondered about that if/and when I have another.

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