Wednesday, February 29, 2012

time for a change

I was a little hesitant to post this but I want to be honest and authentic with my readers and friends. I also wanted to be able to celebrate my victories with you all and I can't do that unless I am honest with you. I wanted to share with you my weight gain/loss and why I think its time for a change. When I first started working at McLean Bible Church 7 years ago I weighed 120 pounds, I was at this weight for years before I started working at the church and I was very active with a Golds gym membership and loved running outside. Working at a church that had 13,000 members can be stressful and I found myself working overtime and volunteering allot with my students. I didn't have as much time for the gym as I did before and when I met Scott 3 years ago I weighed 140 pounds. 





When Scott and I got engaged I entered one of the most stressful seasons of my life. I was preparing for a marriage essentially on my own and knew I wasn't going to have any financial help from my family. I had to figure out a way to invite everyone to the wedding on a very small budget. I preferred to just have a small wedding but Scott wasn't able to cut down his side of the guest list. To cut down the costs I suggested we do an open/potluck wedding and we managed to get 350+ guests. The months before our wedding I was constantly overwhelmed and stressed. I also had a major fall out with one of my best friends who was also my gym buddy, so instead of hitting up the gym and possibly running into each other I was at home preparing for this massive open wedding. While doing this I of course snacked and because I have the sweetest tooth ever I always had a bag of sour skittles in my desk drawer or my car. Our 7 month engagement flew by and the night before our wedding I weighed close to 160! I wasn't to excited that I wasn't going to look like the bride I wanted to look like when I walked down that aisle the next morning.  



After the wedding we spent two glorious weeks in Hawaii. My husband loved his new wife's body, but I still had issues with my weight and I wanted to lose all the "engagement weight" as soon as we got home to be an even hotter wife for my husband.


When we came back from our honeymoon I started my running routine. I was running 6 miles every other day and at least 2-3 miles on my regular workouts. I was also still going to Golds to lift weights/take the classes. But I noticed that I started feeling really sick on my runs and things would start to smell really bad to me. Scott had a business trip to LA and after a night of painting our downstairs bathroom and drinking a glass of wine I realized "I think I'm pregnant!". Sure enough we found out that we were pregnant with a honeymoon baby. I asked my OB if I could still work out and she said I could as long as my heart rate doesn't reach over 140. I ran outside for another month or two, but I was so clumsy I was afraid I would fall down and injure Judah.


I did however still go to the gym all the way up to my 8 month of pregnancy. I was going at least four times a week and I was lifting some weights, doing the elliptical for an hour and walking on the treadmill. I did get mean glances and comments from people saying I was injuring my baby. Judah turned out just fine and I think working out actually helped me during my pregnancy. But my weight crept up to 199 pounds. Judah was born almost a month early.


I did lose a bit after I first had him. I thought that I was going to continue to lose weight over the past year especially since I was breastfeeding. But my milk dried up by 5 months and I hit a wall with my weight loss last summer when Scott's work travel got really crazy. We were all over the place and it was hard to have a consistent work out schedule and easier to just order pizza while we were on the road. Also family stress and the stress of raising a child with no real support in the area has hit us pretty hard this past year and I wouldn't make good eating choices.  

Since our wedding anniversary is next week I've decided its time for a change, no more excuses I can get back to my pre-engagement weight. Yesterday I started Couch to 5K, is a free Apple app for your phone and it teaches you how to slowly get back into running. When I start things I like to go all the way and with running if you haven't' been running for awhile you can't just go out and run 3 miles or  you might get an injury. This application is teaching me how to get back into running slowly. 
Yesterday we ran/walked 2.5 miles. 


We stopped by the park in our backyard so Judah can play and walk around while I stretched. Normally I just take him inside after my run but when I do that I have to change his diaper, feed him and put him down for a nap. Then I realize hours later when my muscles start to ache that I never stretched. At least at the park I have a few mins to stretch while he inspects the park and gets his energy out so he can come in and have a nap.


Also, Scott and I also started juicing a few weeks ago. I've noticed a change in my attitude after drinking a juice in replacement for my lunch. I also take fish oil to make sure my body is able to absorb all the nutrients from the juicing.


So here it is. Its time for a change. I am going to work this weight off and feel better about myself. I'm letting you all know so you will be able to hopefully celebrate with me in my journey and feel victorious with me when I hit that 160's in my weight loss, my goal is to get to the 140s or even lower but I want to celebrate when I finally get into the 160s. I know it will be a hard, but I think once I start consistently losing weight I will feel encouraged and start to really stay focused on my goal instead of wanting to just give up because its taking to long. Right now Judah is now almost 15 months and I'm feeling pretty discouraged that I still weight in the 170s, but that will change and I can't sit in my discouragement, I need to do something about it. 



Today since it was raining I burned 639 calories on the elliptical at home. Maybe one day I will be brave enough to post full body pictures of me in my workout cloths.

Today's weight in 175.5. (Ugh I hate sharing this online) but thank you for joining me in my journey and hopefully I can share lower numbers soon so we can all celebrate and do fist pumps in the air (hey that burns calories)


 
(If you get a chance please double click the box and vote .for our blog)
Help Our Rank & Visit Top Baby Blogs, Baby Blog Directory!

30 comments:

  1. You are awesome for posting this! You can do it!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for your encouragement :-)
      xo

      Delete
  2. I will say this: I LOVE to hear other people's weight gain/loss experiences with real numbers online, but I would be TERRIFIED to share my number online too! It is such a double standard! I hope I can muster up the courage to do it one day. Maybe if I shared online I would loose more, and be back to my pre-preggo weight! So kudos to you mamma! You can do it! And thank you for continuing to be a brave soul! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh I have been thinking about it for weeks and then Elizabeth started that skinny up group on Facebook and I thought what the hell I might as well share it. So I did...and hopefully this really encourages me to really keep at losing the weight. Its HARD!

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. xoxo
      ps I still have your valentine!!!!
      forgot to mail them but now I want to send the little one thats not here yet a hat!

      Delete
  4. proud of you for sharing this journey, lovely friend!! good for you going about it healthfully - i think easing into intense workouts and eating well will have you feeling great about yourself in no time. best of luck with everything!! xoxoxo!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you sweet friend!
      I've gone straight into running 4+ miles with out any training before only to injure myself, if I want this to be a lifetime habit that will stick then I need to go about it slow and steady
      xoxo
      thank you for your encouragement!

      Delete
  5. I'm excited for you - you're going to rock it!!!! I think you could kick my butt running any day :-) Also for me it wasn't until after Eli was over a year old that I finally felt ready to commit to a work out plan. Plus Eli's longer 1 nap a day helped too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yeah right Danielle! You could TOTALLY kick my but in running. Ahhh why don't you live here yet? We could be running buddies with our guys :-)

      Delete
  6. Yaaaay! So proud of you! We can do it together!

    Ok, so even in my most fit I can't run 6 miles! U r a rockstar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YAY! You have encouraged me with your posts! I am so proud of you friend
      xo

      Delete
  7. Yaaaay! So proud of you! We can do it together!

    Ok, so even in my most fit I can't run 6 miles! U r a rockstar!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi five for starting the journey! Good luck and thanks for sharing some motivation!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Great job! I'm going through the same thing right now. I am in week 8 of the C25k program, but battling constant shin splints so it's been a lot of taking breaks along the way so I haven't been losing the weight like I should or want. I wish I was as brave as you to post my numbers online (although we have very similar numbers) :) Great job and I look forward to following you along your journey :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow, so how do you like the program so far (besides the shin splints?) have you noticed a difference on being consistent with the running (like it gives you walk breaks and have you run longer and longer). Have you gotten fitted for running shoes? Allot of stores will test your feet/running style for free and recommend the shoe that fits your foot for you. I used to get shin splits all the time till I got tested for the right running shoes.

      Delete
  10. I recently posted about how difficult it has been for us to stay on track with working out and eating healthy. I am in grad school for counseling and one of the most important aspects of our career is self care. Hm. That was difficult for me to grasp because I am always taking care of everyone else-when will I have time to take care of me?? All of my professors were right though, I am no able to take better care of others by taking care of myself first. I have made time to work out whenever I can, without obsessing about it. Same with eating-I eat well most of the time but allow moments of indulgement. I am happier and healthier-physically and mentally. So, my advice to you, is to find it in yourself to let go of the "goal" aspect and instead focus on the becoming happy and taking care of YOU part of it. That's what has worked for me, so I just wanted to share my two cents ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Michelle!

      I am actually seeing a counselor for allot of trauma in my past, that was my first priority over the past year and I a going to still see her for however long it takes to heal fully from my childhood. But in seeing her I have realized that I do minimize what has happened to me in my past, and therefore have allowed others to kinda "poop" all over me. So Im now not letting people do that and pruning those people out of my life so I am not in that drama tornado of theirs (getting my energy sucked out when I can focus more on myself and my son/husband) So I am taking care of me/making myself happy with counseling, now I just need to be better with taking care of myself physically and by me putting a number up was helping myself be encouraged and also being accountable to working out and not just sitting on the couch ;-)

      Delete
    2. Jess,
      That is great! It is so easy to get trapped in our old ways and to let others drag us down, you are an inspiration for taking the steps to make yourself happier! I, too, have been seeing a counselor in order to do the same. I feel like as mothers we tend to be pretty competitive with one another, especially in the social media world, and I have finally let that go. You are a great mom and I am happy to follow you on IG and your blog because of that!
      I think you putting up your number was very bold and brave, I admire you for that! We all need ways to motivate ourselves, I definitely have an "accountability calendar" next to my desk where I write my workouts and money spending for each day ;) What I meant about letting go of the "goals" is that I feel like sometimes we can get so caught up in that part of it, trust me, I've been there, that we forget about the big picture. And thanks for your response!
      M

      Delete
  11. Way to go Jess. I posted yesterday about the same thing. Lets do this thing momma!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You can do it! I remember how great i felt getting out of the 170s. Im around the conrer... we can always meet up! Xoxo im here for ya!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't even IMAGINE you at 170s! Your such a good runner now and encouragement with running thats why I love reading your blog!
      I would love to meet up to run :-)

      Delete
  13. Good for you! But I think you are beautiful at your current weight too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. yay! im excited to see your journey and the progress you make. i am hoping to be inspired. i feel like i also need to make a change soon.

    thanks for your honesty and good luck girl!!!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your comments! They encourage my heart and I read every single one of them. Please be encouraging and don't just comment or email me when you want to correct me on my grammar. When I get the "grammar correction" emails or comments they do hurt my feelings. I wouldn't want your heart to feel the way mine does after reading them.

Please check back as I try to respond to everyone who leaves a comment.